Lies, Confabulation, and Narcissism
Narcissistic confabulation occurs when someone systematically invents or distorts memories and experiences. This differs from everyday confabulation because narcissists use it defensively to maintain their flawless self-image. It's about how they construct narratives, sorting facts and inventing events to align with their self-perception.
Belief in Their Own Truth
Narcissists genuinely believe their version of reality, even when demonstrably false. They constantly reinvent reality to protect their image of infallibility, avoiding accountability.
How Confabulation Is Used
Portraying themselves as victims and others as villains.
Casting themselves as "good" while externalizing all negativity.
Creating cognitive dissonance in others, making them doubt their memory.
Rewriting past events for personal gain or to avoid responsibility.
Consequences for the Narcissist
Their confabulations become part of a false self they must constantly maintain and defend. This creates deep contradictions as stories shift, confusing those around them. They will fiercely defend these narratives, even as they become increasingly absurd.
Impact on Others
Those around the narcissist experience:
Emotional confusion
Uncertainty about their own memory
Eroded self-confidence and weakened judgment.
Coping Strategies
The best ways to handle narcissistic confabulation:
Surround yourself with emotionally healthy, trustworthy people to validate your reality.
Debrief encounters with the narcissist alongside someone with a discerning perspective.
Avoid trying to convince them of their faulty memories; this leads to denial, anger, and gaslighting.
Often, the safest approach is minimizing or completely severing contact to protect yourself.
Valuable resources: Dr. Ramani Durvasula, Professor Dr. Sam Vaknin and Dr. Lundy Bancroft.
