Podcast E8: Woman's Creative Power

In this podcast, Mette Miriam Sloth discusses feminine and masculine energy and how they interact, both within the individual and in relationships. She argues that these energies are universal qualities available to both women and men, and that they are not tied to gender.

• Read more

  Defining Feminine and Masculine Energy:

  • Feminine: Associated with emotions, changeability, intuition, surrender, inner world, being, and flow. Symbolized by a spiral.

  • Masculine: Associated with action, structure, direction, purposefulness, outer world, doing, and control. Symbolized by an arrow.

  The podcast emphasizes that it is important to understand and balance these energies within oneself to achieve well-being, health, and personal development. It gives examples of how one can use awareness of the two energies in everyday life to navigate relationships, stress, work, and sexuality.

  Challenges in Modern Society:

  The podcast points out that modern society often overemphasizes the masculine, which can lead to stress, burnout, and loss of contact with the body and emotions.

  This is especially true for women, who often take on an over-responsibility for structure and care, both at home and at work.

  Solutions and Recommendations:

  The podcast encourages creating more space for the feminine in everyday life, for example through meditation, body awareness, creative expression, and enjoyment.

  It emphasizes the importance of learning to switch between the two energies depending on the situation.

  In relationships, it is recommended to communicate openly about needs and roles, as well as to explore the polarity in sexual energy.

  Sexuality and Polarity:

  The podcast describes sexuality as a dance between the masculine and feminine, where one pole wants to surrender and be led, while the other wants to penetrate and direct the energy.

  It highlights the importance of knowing one's primary pole and feeling fulfilled in it in order to experience sexual freedom and ecstasy.

  Final Remarks:

  The podcast concludes by emphasizing that the understanding of feminine and masculine energy is constantly evolving, and that we are in the process of redefining what it means to be human and gendered.

  It encourages listeners t

• English transcription

  Translated transcript of the original Danish podcast

  Host: Mette Miriam Sloth

  And what we're going to talk about today is a mix of yes, we're going to talk about the masculine, the feminine, because what I really want to talk about is feminine creativity and how it's actually mostly something in harmony with the masculine. And in order to be able to talk about that, I want to try to define this concept of masculine feminine, because as I see it, we misunderstand the two concepts, or they are often used interchangeably for everything. Um and the way that I use them or the way that I approach the two concepts is very much in line with the way that David Data also approaches it. Do you know David Data? He's worked a lot with transfusion and sexuality and relationship dynamics and spirituality for 30 or 40 years. Um, and he has a very good grasp of that part. And for me it was very eye-opening to read his books, which I devour, because he actually describes something that I feel we lack language for. Ø, and I can hear that when I teach this. Ø, and I also have discussions about relationships and also in relation to self-development, in relation to taking care of yourself and understanding yourself more deeply, I can see that this understanding of masculine feminine can really do something. And it can do a lot more than because you can say, in some ways we're a bit tired of the concept of masculine feminine, because they've been misused, or they've been stereotyped, they've been simplified, and they've been equated with masculine equals man and feminine equals woman, and then there's something in it that should be like that and then something else is hay, right? So I just want to say, I really want to encourage you to everything that you've kind of ascribed to the concept of masculine feminine, that you just, you know, clean slate, let's just scratch all that table and look, let's look at it with such fresh eyes. Um, because when we do that, my experience is that we can actually really use this pair of concepts. We can really use it in our everyday lives. We can use it in our lives. We can use it in relation to ourselves. We can use it in relation to our partners, if we have one. Um. And to people around us. So there's something very profound in that, but unfortunately they've been very simplified and stereotyped. And that's a real shame, because there's some magic in it that we kind of miss. So the way in which we relate to masculine, feminine, I mean, you can almost look at everything in life, and then you can almost boil it down to two things: masculine, feminine, and then another impulse that says either you close or you open. And you could say that living life is basically about every time we close, it could be trauma, it could be something that hurts, it could be your defense mechanism, so it's actually about getting back to opening up again. It doesn't matter if we close down. It's very natural that there are many things that make us lock up. But the problem with us humans is that typically we stay locked up. We freeze, we lock, and then there are a lot of knots. Um, and then those knots in our defense mechanisms in the nervous system. So when we encounter a situation that reminds us of a pain, it may not be painful this time, it may not be painful this time, but it smells a bit of something that could be something we have experienced at some point, then we lock up again. So a lot of what we look at in human behavior, it's like lock on lock on lock on lock on lock on lock on lock on lock. And then underneath all that, it's kind of who you are, which is not a static thing. More of a continuous, changing sense of who you are. So you could say it's essence. It's a bit difficult to find the concepts for this. And to actually figure out what's what here, and sort through these lockdowns, figure out, well, that's a defense, and that's something I have, it's a programming, and it's something I learned, and it's an automatic response I learned in childhood, to react like this. So you start asking questions like, what the hell am I? I mean, what is just something I've allowed that I can't really use for anything? And what's more like, no, I feel alive, I feel, you know, in flow or I feel that I contribute with the unique thing I have to contribute, because you know, it's very paradoxical, we as humans are both herd animals and we are also a single individual, so they dance together. So you have a lot of common human things in common with me and with all sorts of other people. You have a heart, two lungs and everything like that. And you know, there are a lot of things that are common human things, but each person also has a unique fingerprint. So something has its own unique composition. So to express that down here in this cuddly life, that's what is sometimes wonderful and sometimes a little bit of a hassle and can also hurt like crazy. And in relation to this, especially in relation to the intimate relationship. And you could say, yes, it's true that we have many genders. Um, and so there is heterosexuality, where you attract the opposite sex, you can be attracted to the same sex, and then you have trans, where there are different ways of being human, and there is nothing that is more right than anything else. You could say, statistically speaking, the majority will define themselves as heterosexual ergo. The majority will be attracted to a person who is the opposite sex to themselves. There's nothing really wrong with this, it's just statistically speaking, what we can see is that there are about 3% who define themselves as homosexual, and then about 1.2% who are transsexual, and then the rest define themselves as heterosexual, as it is right now. And of course it does. And then, of course, there's also bisexuality coupled in here somewhere in there somewhere. And all of that, there is no one thing that is more right than anything else. You could say the majority, and that's why I talk a lot about male, female attraction. And this is where it gets a little bit tricky, because when we talk man, woman and mass with a feminine, it's because it's not the same thing. And that's why I want to define it here, because the intimate relationship, being attracted to an intimate partner, regardless of whether we are the same or different gender, is the most difficult relationship there is. It's where we hurt the most, and it's a huge hassle. Then there's the relationship with our children, it's insanely difficult. And that's why there are so many people who come to me about the pain of it, because it's a difficult relationship. And in relation to that relationship, it's actually quite important to have an awareness. The love for another human being, which we also fuck, it's really important that we have an understanding of the feminine and the masculine. And in relation to well-being in your own life. The fact that you can actually regulate yourself and come back and understand how to keep yourself well and take better care of your own well-being and the person you are? It's both physical health, mental health, emotional health and well-being and development and maturation. This is where the concept of masculine feminine also makes a huge difference or having awareness of it can really be a useful tool for you. So let's start from the top. Now I've kind of rambled on about why I think this concept is so incredibly important and you can use it as a tool. But what the hell does it mean? So the first thing I want to say is that masculine feminine has basically nothing to do with gender. We often hear feminine for women, masculine for men. And if you look at it that way, if you read any of the posts I've written about this lecture, then you'd really be in for a lot of grief, because if you read every time I wrote feminine was straight woman, it would look like I was making a lot of stereotypical statements, which was such an old school way of looking at men and women, and that would be absolutely awful. And that's why it's also important in every time it's come up in the comment section and you know, what the hell are you talking about, it's like, well, that's because feminine is not equally female and masculine is not equally male. Feminine and masculine are energies, qualities, characteristics, resources that are available in life. You are a part of life. Are they also available in you? So you can see it that way, if we go in and define the feminine, it's different ways of being and shaping yourself in the world and as a human being. So the feminine as a principle will have the symbol. Uh, now I can show my earring. I can't, because they're wearing buffs. It's the spiral. It's such a symbol of the feminine. And a symbol of the masculine is the arrow, which is a direction. And if we start with the feminine, so you can say what and I can't, it's not inexhaustible, so everything I'm coming up with here for what belongs under the feminine, but I will try my best way to describe it. So under the feminine that is not female, that is, the feminine, the masculine is in man, whether female or male. So in you, you have access to the feminine in you. In you, you have access to the masculine in you. A man now typically runs with women. I don't think there are any men running with us this time. So if there was a man out there, he has access to the feminine, and he will also have access to the masculine. So it's true that we may be more identified with some of the qualities of one of the groups than with others. And we may have learned cultural upbringing and be more identified with some of these things. We may also have a hormonal system and a physiology, biology and genetics that also make us more identified with some qualities in some groupings. But that doesn't change the fact that you can train the competence and actually actually have access and use the qualities in everyone. So it's actually more about bringing awareness to when are you in one and when are you in the other? Because then you get much more power behind taking care of your relationships, both with yourself and others, but also with your health and well-being, i.e. development, well-being, well-being. So in the feminine, which is the spiral, every time you experience an emotion, every time you feel an emotion, that's the feminine. Because the feminine is the changeable. So an Emotional Flow is changeable. One moment you're laughing out loud. 10 seconds later you're crying about something. So it will be so that the emotional flow is feminine. Chaos will also be feminine. But you could say that chaos also testifies to potential. We hear about chaos theory. So there is some pattern recognition in it. But you could say that a tsunami comes and wipes out an entire village. That's enormously chaotic. At the same time, it also makes room for something new to grow, something new to grow. You can build something new from the remains. So you could say that in that way it is a force that overturns itself chaotically. That power is also feminine. Hair power if you will. You can also see it in nature. A hurricane or a tsunami or something else. That's power. Uh-huh. Intuition. Having this feeling for something that can be hard to explain logically. It comes to you as a feeling that you might then act on. Is also feminine. Um, invitation and being inviting is in the feminine. Uh, the fluid, the changeable is feminine. Uh, the present moment and being present, i.e. presence, when you are present with another person, with yourself, then you are also in a feminine quality. Uh, devotion, surrender, ecstasy. Pleasure is also inherent in the feminine. There is also a bit of risk in the feminine. And it's not so much a feminine quality. It's more of a risk, where you can get stuck in the feminine, you can get a bit swampy. You can get stuck in some emotional states that become a bit swampy. But it's really more a side effect of the fact that, just like water, if it stands still, it becomes swollen, where water becomes oxygenated and gets moving. But it's never clean and fresh. So you could say that these are the feminine qualities that you have more or less in your life at different times. Over in the masculine, masculine qualities, it's reason, rationality, structure. Every time you're action-oriented, every time you do a plan, you sit down and make a budget, that's a masculine quality. Sitting down and crafting, writing a book, sitting down and having a maker solve a task. Brainstorming is feminine. That is, you just sit down and every idea gets mentioned out loud. There are no limitations. But as soon as you brainstorm and limit yourself and say well, out of all this, what can we actually use for something? Then you go from the feminine to the masculine, where you start to delimit yourself. You start to categorize, you start to put things in boxes. You start to build some of it. That is, you look at something. This, this is useful. This is not useful. This dualism is actually also part of the masculine. So every time you divide something, you create something structurally, you are in the masculine. That's also where demarcation is purely relational. So conflict where you delimit yourself. That's also when you're also over in the masculine. In the masculine, there is also a desire to direct the energy, take leadership. In the sexual act, it's also about directing. So in the masculine pole sexually there is a longing to direct. The energy penetrates, penetrates spiritually, physically, emotionally and witnessing the feminine, surrendering to ecstasy. So again here, it's not a woman's man when it comes to sexuality. However, Data's hypothesis is that probably about 80 to 90% of women are feminine identified in their sexuality and about 80 to 90% of men are masculine identified in their sexuality. It's actually very clever, so it fits together, so they attract each other. Um. But a woman can also be masculinely identified by her sexuality and want to penetrate and want to direct the energy. And a man can have a longing to surrender sexually and thus be femininely identified in his sexuality. And of course you can switch the poles. You can play the poles, but most people will typically have a primary sexual preference. And I'll come back to the sexuality thing, because it's kind of a category of its own, which is also quite important to understand about the masculine feminine day. In relation to understanding attraction, sexual attraction, which you could say is what you've put into the intimate relationship, what helps make it completely wonderful and extremely difficult, it's not just a friend you fuck. So what you have that level with um that you can learn so incredibly much from and get so violently hurt and get extremely confused about. And right here, that conceptual answer can be used for something. So I'll take that, just to mention that it's there. Can we also talk about masculine and feminine poles? I'll take that out a little later. It comes back to these other forms or these other qualities that you can kind of categorize under masculine and feminine. And I would really encourage you to start bringing awareness into your daily life. I would actually say, if you can, if you have to spend time on something in relation to your New Year's resolution and you have to focus on something in relation to changing something in the coming year, then this is actually going all in in relation to understanding where you are in one and the other, and what kind of people you thrive best in, and what kind of people you miss the most, that would really really really really be my challenge to you, because you can really gain a deep understanding of yourself as a human being, and you can shift some parameters, maybe some challenges that you've been struggling with for a long time, that you simply haven't been able to change. What does this look like in practice when it comes to describing whether something is feminine or not? Why is it important that we know this at all? And it's actually about the parasympathetic and sympathetic parts of the nervous system also belong here. Everything cannot be reduced to feminine and masculine cannot be reduced to that. Doing and being also belong in here. Aries is feminine. Doing is masculine. But there are more things that fall under it. So that in itself is not complete. And that's why I still use these terms. Even though they're a little bit there, they can be misunderstood very quickly. So it's easy to think that it's about stereotypes. I just haven't found a concept part. I haven't found other words that are just as adequate, because then I would have used them, because I often experience people and I'm with, can you still hear me? Okay, please, there was such a strange sound. Please let me know if I can't, if you can't hear me anymore. I think I had set it so that no one can call me right now, but it was disturbing anyway. So you could say, the reason why this is so important, um, it's actually about, for example, the one you paused with back. Okay, I'm back. That the nervous system, as you probably know, we have two, well we have several aspects of the nervous system, but we have some connections. Every time you do an action and you're defending yourself, or you're teaching, or you're on, or you get up from the weirdness and do something, your body releases some adrenaline and some cortisol and some norepinephrine, because it simply has to use the sympathetic uses the sympathetic part nerves for the head and get anything done. And that therefore also belongs to a masculine quality. So the sympathetic part of the nervous system is also part of the fact that you need it in order to go out and accomplish anything. The parasympathetic part is where you are relaxed. That's where you've had an insanely delicious orgasm, and you've had a deep massage. You're so completely relaxed and your body is so completely relaxed. There's not a muscle twitching for you to move anywhere. And if you see, these are two very different states to be in. It's very different if you're standing here full of adrenaline and have to deliver a lecture or defend yourself in a discussion or whatever. And then you're just completely flattening out after you've reached some kind of climax with some hot person or whatever in other ways that you come into contact with paras. Those are two very different states. And it's very telling how much of a difference there is between being in the feminine and being in the masculine. Right there you'll really see the difference. And right there you might also notice especially if you're a woman that you're not over here very often. You are most women in our part of the world with the culture we have are not very often down in their parasympathetic nervous system. I'm not very often just enjoying my body. Holy shit, it's delicious. Or you know, surrender to pleasure. Often she can forget what she actually enjoys. And part of it has to do with the fact that we are incredibly overly masculine. And this, it's not about you as a woman, it's the women I talk to who sometimes miss being in the feminine, can't figure out how to be in the masculine. Are you out of your mind? Women are good at keeping structure. And that's one of the things that's gone wrong with stereotypes in the past, that women are hysterical and men are rational and stuff like that. It's gone, well, it's gone completely wrong. Um, and that's why some of this masculine feminine stuff has become so knotted up like a street key that has suddenly become entangled. And it's really annoying in terms of how we view these very beautiful concepts, because there's nothing to do with it. It has nothing to do with stereotypes. It has to do with how you bring awareness into your different situations in life and find out what kind of what am I, what am I practicing here, and what kind of resources am I drawing on in myself, and have I maybe drawn a little too much on those resources, do I need to switch over to the others? Because the whole dance of life, the main dance of life, also with universes and stars, you know, that explode and turn into power, you know, and form again into a new star, new structure, you know, crash again. So all the time going between the feminine and the masculine. The feminine is power that wants to ask the masculine to offer a structure that the feminine power folds into until the structure becomes too constraining. The force wants to develop. He says, now we have enough consciousness in here. Now now now, now there is new. Now now now now the container must be bigger. Then it smashes the power, the structure, and then the masculine. Well, that's exciting. Then we build a new structure. That's the graceful dance. That's the delicious. The dance between the masculine and the feminine. And that's also what we have the opportunity to do in parfold. It happens between planets. It happens in the cosmos. It happens within you. It happens between you and your partner. Often what happens is that we end up screwing each other over. That the dance is not delicious. It's crazy, it's awful. That's what makes it so bad, because there is so much difference between the masculine and the feminine. Diversity is delicious, that's why we're turned on by it. But it's also a hassle because when we disagree, we really want someone to just work the way we do. So in those misunderstandings, we can be extremely cross-border. We can try to make a delicious difference the same as us. And there we mess around a bit. And a, what's his name, a garbage man comes and makes a bit of noise out here, just in case you can hear it. So that's why we sometimes mess around in this dance. And the more aware we become of the dance in ourselves, and that's the main thing I'm talking about today, it's actually how the masculine feminine works in you that you can use. But I'm also doing a little thread on how it works in relationships, which you might also be able to learn from if you're in a relationship. And if you're not, then you can at least uh and want to be, well then maybe that's something you can take with you uh into a new delicious relationship in 23, if that's where you long to land. So in everyday life, you will actually long for your body, your body and your mind long to dance between these, so you have some time that you are in the masculine, you then come over to the feminine and recover, and you then come back and are acting. But in our culture, you want to act, act, act, act, act. So it's very scheduled. You get up, the bell rings for something, you don't wake up on your own. It will again be a feminine quality. So if a feminine morning, it would be that you wake up on your own and lie there and you know just listen to what's going on? There's a bird chirping or there's rain hitting the root. You know, there's nothing, there's nothing you have to, you don't have to plant. You don't have to hurry up and get out of bed, I have to get the kids up, I have to go to work, I have a meeting. No, just don't get fired today or whatever the hell it is. So that morning when you just wake up on your own and lie there and take in sounds, you're with life. It has its own unique flavor. Other mornings, there may have been a bird singing. There may also be rain beating against the roots, but you may not actually hear it because your mind is already galloping out here. And it's not that there's anything wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with having a wake-up call because you have to catch a plane to some meeting in Brussels or whatever. So there's nothing, there's nothing wrong with that. It's just that in order to live as a human being, especially in our triv, it's quite important that we have both modalities or we have both qualities with all their many variations in the feminine and masculine want to be expressed, because you have so many strings in yourself to play on as humans. You have so many variations, and they really want to be put into play rather than being too monotonous, you know, you have such a whole piano, you only use the four same three sounds. It gets really boring. It's like plink plink plink pling. So there are all sorts of sounds you could use. So it's really about you starting to get to know more sounds in you. And sometimes you think that those three sounds are just who you are. It's just your personal n I'm just someone who is just like this just like this no none of us are. It's about the fact that we've told that story so many times and we've been pushed into experiences where we've put ourselves out there in the same way, but that doesn't mean that's all there is. There's so much more, there's so much more you can play on. So I would actually say it as an invitation for you to become a little curious about who the hell you really are? So what's behind this kind of programming and stories and narratives that you've been given by your family, that you've told yourself and that your friends have mirrored to you and all sorts of things that you may not have put together like that and get a little curious about it. And right here, understanding these two can be used as concrete tools, because you can actually start creating space. You can start creating space so that you can see if you have the opportunity one morning and try not to go out and call. And it could be a weekend. A child might come and wake you up. But that's also what happens when a child gets up and throws up on you or something. It's also in the feminine. It's very spontaneous. It's unexpected. You don't know what the hell is going to happen. So you could say and what in the feminine is actually a bit about you being able to be with what's happening right now and it's constantly changing. And that's not always cool. I mean, sometimes if you're really, really angry on the highway and there's a traffic jam right there, it typically doesn't help very much to choose a masculine approach. Masculine approach will try to fix it. If you're stuck, you might walk in and say, I'm stuck. I just canceled a meeting. I just got a text saying I'm late. You take control to say, okay, this creates complications for other people not showing up. I'll take care of that. So you may well sit there and get angry. You might be sitting there feeling trapped. You feel trapped because you had a plan to be somewhere else. The masculine is always, you have, you are action-oriented. That is, I'm heading towards something. That is, I'm not paying attention to where I am because I'm going over here. So I'm already almost in, when you're in mass, you're almost already in the future. You're determined to create the future almost before you get there. It's part of the What is the masculine? When you're in the feminine, you just are. So it would be easier for you to sit in a traffic jam where you don't know when things will move when you shift into the feminine. Because in the feminine, you have a much easier time not being able to figure out when things are moving. Feminine doesn't have a time horizon, because the whole structure is to structure yourself in a time frame at all. It's having time and space at all. It's a masculine structure. So you know, so you can see here you can start to shift It's not, it's not, it's not like you're sitting in a traffic jam and thinking about all the things you don't have time for, that you can just see, now I'm just moving to feminine. It doesn't work like that. It's not that simple. It's very simple to explain, but that doesn't mean it's easy to solve or change. And that's why you can practice. You can actually practice saying like this: “Okay, what is beneficial that I tap more into right here? What is actually beneficial that I'm in right now?” So if you're in a traffic jam and you feel like you're under pressure, you might also realize, okay, I've been acting, you know, almost 247 for the next seven years, the last seven years of my life, which many of us living in this country are. We're over here all the time, we're over here shopping all the time. That's also one of the reasons why a lot of people go down with chronic stress, because you force your system, you force your system to constantly spit out cortisol, to constantly push out adrenaline, to constantly keep you going towards something. In other words, you almost never enjoy the fruits of having reached a goal, so you reach a goal, and then another one comes along. And it does in the masculine, and there's nothing wrong with that. But the problem is, if you only believe that you have masculine qualities and lean into them, then your ability to be present in life with what is, plus your ability to feel life will feel like it's hard for you. You should see it more as if it's some muscle groups you don't use that often. And that's why what I mainly teach people is to actually get back into the body and feel emotions. Because when you're used to being very masculine, things have to be done. And that's fine, I'm in hell. I'm sad, I'm anxious, I've got something, I've got depression, it needs to be fixed. Give me a pill, give me a plan, give me a cognitive tool. Give me something so I can fix it. That's typically the way we approach emotions. But the thing about it, the best way that you can work with emotions is actually by allowing them to be there. Because a lot of the reasons why now a lot of the emotions we struggle with stagnate, get stuck, we lock, we clench around them, we're terrified of getting stuck in a state. So we try like I must not, I must not get scared. I must not get scared, I must not get anxious. I can't get scared of being abandoned. I can't. We try to push it away all the time. It's because we're scared shitless that we'll become her in it. We're scared shitless that we'll get lost in it. But the thing is that when we talk about the feminine, we're talking about surrender to the unknown. Surrender to constant change. Surrender to feeling what isn't nice but knowing that all conditions will pass again. It is a deep wisdom of the feminine. It is that all states release again. Because it's cyclical. It's the spiral. There is no standing still. So when we perceive something standing still, it's because over in the masculine you have interpreted feelings as if they are structure. They aren't. But when you get stuck in the belief that I have to encapsulate emotions before I can categorize them. These are some positive emotions I'm allowed to have. I'm not allowed to have these. When we're constantly trying to dissect emotions, we don't understand how emotions work. Because being in an emotion is a feminine quality. So if you try to deal with a feminine quality by going all masculine on it. You're in trouble. So it's going to go to hell. Um. And something where the way psychiatry is based on that we don't actually understand the dance between them. Because what happens when you feel an emotion, when you feel you're frustrated, when you feel there's something that you have that you want to get away from, then you try or something that can be overwhelming, you try to fix it by either shutting down or happiness away from it or pretending it's not there. That is, you try to put some kind of solution on it because you can't feel it. And what is actually the art of emotions is that just when you can feel that something is starting to be stick, you can feel it starting to react to something that hurts. It's actually sweet to say, okay, I think instead of trying to act my way out of it, keep, you know, wiping the table or keep going out for a run or whatever the hell it does to get out of it, it's actually breathing and then going and sitting in a place where you're comfortable and saying and looking inward. So the feminine is very much also the inner world, where you can say not only the inner world, but a lot of it is connecting with the inner world because that's where your emotions come from. Your feelings may be activated somewhat in the outer world. But it's your inner world that's knocking and telling you something. It comes from within your hormonal system. It comes from within your emotional body and from your neurological network that tells you something. Hey, there's something going on inside me. And that, when something is knocking inside, you can actually allow yourself to look inside and say, okay, what's knocking? And let yourself bathe in it. I mean, let yourself be flooded by the condition and pull it in. And right here I would say that women have an advantage of the women who have had children. Of course, there are some who haven't, but it's not the only way you can practice it, but I usually say, you have to imagine as if when you're with feelings, be with it as if it was worth it. Obviously, I can't say that to a man, so you can do that since you haven't had children. As a woman, you may also have chosen not to have children. But it's actually about you doing it. You can also imagine you can say, or if you have a cramp, you have a leg cramp, very severe leg cramp. It makes you want to tense up even more, because you actually need to relax, you actually need to relax, you need to relax. It may seem counterintuitive that you actually have to surrender to the pain and then it goes away. And this and this is simply the most simple thing I'm ever going to tell you. It's when you feel something that's uncomfortable and you're resisting it, turn your gaze inward. Surrender it to surrender to let go of the resistance. Surrender to feeling what's coming. It's so simple and it's so f****** hard to practice because. The reason it's hard is because for 12. 000 years or something like that mankind has been taught that when you feel something uncomfortable you have to shut down and defend yourself and you know the defense is primarily at least that boundary is over in the masculine not so there is something here in terms of understanding how to help your system land on top of an emotional load that has been lost or it has not been lost because we talk a lot about it but it is actually to train it into something so you can switch between them in your nervous system and it will simply do, when we as a species begin to understand this dance and practice it in our bodies, have the awareness to say, okay, right now I've been too masculine, I need to go over here and feel my body island and land. Uh, and right now I've been too much in the fluid and too, you know, spilling out all over the place and now I need to get over here and be structured, pay some bills and stuff, because otherwise it all collapses, you know, where we can say, now I need to go over and create something, because now I've just accepted the impulse and have just been and relaxed. Now I want to be structured and get something out into the world. Again. When we get better at creating it, we can take hold of whatever it looks like in individual life, because the basic structure is the same for all of us, but so many variations, beautiful variations can come out of the dance that is life lived through the individual, when we manage it to a greater extent collectively. So what I'm doing and what psychologists are doing, well, we're an extinct species, so it's not necessary, because much of what people actually come up with is stagnated energy. It's overconfidence, it's anxiety in the system, it's trauma load. In other words, trauma load, where you can say that trauma is also stagnated energy. It can sound very simple. For all of you who have tried to work with trauma, it certainly doesn't feel simple. But that's basically what working with a trauma load is, and part of it is also about going in and being with the pain and letting it cleanse through you. It's part of working with a trauma and breathing through it and not seeking it out and retraumatizing yourself, but recognizing hey, now I'm triggered, now it's coming up. And I have to be with the pain, the grief that washes through me when I feel that bit of the pain that I carry, either for my own life or in my family life or past life, depending on how you feel things are set up. So whether you believe in reincarnation or epigenetics or archetypes, symbolic understanding of who represents themselves via the psyche or all that all the parts somewhere point to the same thing, we just have to say that we are carriers of the fact that you and I are sitting right here right now in 2027. So we are a product of the fact that there are enough people who have survived and fucked and had children in a very very dangerous world it has been. And it still is in some places. So the fact that we've made it this far means that we're all carrying on the journey it has been to be human. Light and darkness and snot and cinnamon, I would say. And therefore there will also be many forms of pain that express themselves through you. Um, which we sometimes naively believe we can just make it go away. And when we learn to breathe in it, we can actually transform some of this pain into love, I would say. We can transfer it into wisdom. And the dance between the feminine and masculine can do this too. That's actually what I help most people with when they come. It's to find out okay, where are you most in relation to, if we are to use these concepts to translate into your daily life, where are you most, and where are you most desperate to be? And what I hear for a lot of women is that they are extremely upset that they take so much structure, that they feel they carry so much structure, and that's regardless of whether they are in a career, they go home. And the women who choose to stay at home, and they have small children, can be a little despondent that they have such a little, well, it's a caring job. Why do I feel so Why do I feel so overloaded? Why do I feel so drained? Why can't I be present with my children? Why do I get so angry so quickly? Why do I freak out so much? And I would actually say one of the things about going home alone with children, right here you are extremely challenged because you are actually asked to consistently do two things at the same time. You're being asked to be in the feminine and masculine at the same time. You're asked to keep an insane amount of structure because the care part has a lot of structure. There's a lot of structure in changing diapers, breakfast, dinner. There's a huge amount of planning. You constantly have to think about when someone is going to sleep. So you have to constantly be in such a structure, keep an eye on the clock in relation to the children. So I know that, at the same time as where the children are, the children are when young children have very little structure, and they struggle enormously against your structure. The way they come into the world, they are much more in their instincts, in their emotions. So they are much more in the feminine. Children are much more in the feminine when they come into the world. Structure, the neurological network for keeping structure, understanding time, getting up, going to school, postponing needs and things like that. That comes later. It is built on through acquisition and socialization. So what you are met with is that you have a structure that your children actually primarily bake against, while at the same time you are asked to meet your children. You have to be present. You have to be there for them. You have to be able to connect with them. You need to be able to bring them back to balance. So you have to keep an eye on the child wanting to witness the world through your eyes. Uh, so you But sometimes you can't do it. Sometimes you can't bear to sit and be present at the same time as you have to make sure there's lunch and someone needs to sleep. And then you also have to because you almost feel like you're being torn in two. And you will typically have experienced it if you have stayed home with children that it is much easier if they come some other adults where you either you know get time to devote yourself and sit with your non-puffer being on the playground or build a snowman where you surrender to play and just be like a feminine quality it is much easier if you also if you have if you can have peace of mind to know there is someone taking care of dinner there is someone who takes care of dinner but the fact that you are often alone with both tasks at the same time can make it almost feel like you are going crazy, you have something like that it can really drain you and it is very often that we because we do not understand that there is a very big difference between whether you are present right now or whether you are structured and are goal and solution oriented. They are two very different places you get it from. You tap into different parts of your physique and your nervous system. So the fact that you're almost being asked to do it at the same time when you're at home with kids. It feels insanely uncomfortable. And so that's why you're going to be like convulsing. How the hell do I make this plan, you know, so I'm not constantly thinking about laundry, so I'm not constantly thinking about dinner. It's because you can see your kids constantly trying to pull you back into the feminine with them. They just want you to be present. You're not always running away. And you're like, well, I feel like I'm going away, because then I go crazy, if I don't feel like doing tasks, then they lag and then I get worried. So you're trying to solve a worry, but it's actually your system that's on alert because I can't do both at the same time. It's two it would be like eating with your right and left arm at the same time and it makes no sense. It can't get into the mouth. So it doesn't make sense. And it's not like I can tell you exactly how to solve it right now if you stay at home with children, because the way our system is set up, there's someone who stays at home and someone who's out earning some money, right? More and more people are starting to organize themselves into cohousing communities and things like that to help each other. It's more to say that you should try to think about it, so be a little gentle with yourself when you stand there and say, I should go home and enjoy it with my children. Why is it that I'm about to completely break my neck? It's because you're being asked to do two opposite things at the same time a lot of the time. And it feels hugely uncomfortable for your system. It's hugely, hugely stressful for your system. So the more you can practice yourself, even in and here you can sometimes use the structure to practice yourself making the shifts. And it's not just around children. It can be around anything. It can also be if, let's say you don't have children, but you have your own business and you tend to sit and work all the time. Um, you may also have a hard time letting it go. You can have if you're constantly used to being in the corner and thinking of solutions and thinking how can I get a wider reach? How can I have more revenue? How can I contribute more? How can I what now? Then it will be to make that shift by saying that I'm now at work in the sense that I'm now in the masculine. You can also use feminine iter when you're at work, but you're typically on your way to creating something. You could also say that when I'm helping people, yes, of course I tap into my understanding of emotions and mirroring and understanding of others, but I'm actually the one who holds the masculine space, because I'm the one who holds the process. So you could say that I actually take the masculine pole, that whoever comes can be allowed to lean in and be with what comes up. So that's why you can see the masculine feminine is always dancing together. So the more you become aware of that dance and where you fit into it, the easier it will be for you and the fewer misunderstandings there will be if you have a meeting at work. You could say it's also a way of understanding how the feminine masculine is included in all sorts of everyday situations. So it's not just inside you, but it's also inside you in relation to others. If you're at a meeting at work where, let's say, you're meeting with some beautiful people, now it becomes stereotypical. Now I have to, now I have to find an example. Yes, you have a meeting. Uh, now I'm making it super stereotypical. You have a meeting with an accountant. You have a meeting with an accountant, and you walk in, and it's just like, well, there's an agenda, there's calculators, you know, there's like, we start here, we end here, so you know, there's like, it's all like a bullet point breakdown, and it's like that it's super tight, and you know it's all like that it's just filled to the brim, and it's just like everything is calculated to the smallest little decimal. But inside the room there isn't, it's just completely gray and boring. There are no plants, there's nothing. There's life, because the feminine life is the mood, it's the energy in the room. And right there, you could say, you could say it was just taken over, but the whole work with the talculinary system. So you could say that if you have a meeting in a profession that is very masculine identified, it will be very empty of the feminine. It will typically be that the interior has not been taken into account, the atmosphere has not been taken into account, the senses have not been taken into account. There is nothing that smells delicious, there is nothing that is beautiful. also lies in the feminine. How is it that something is just beautiful because it's just beautiful? It doesn't have a purpose other than just being beautiful because it adds beauty. Beauty lies in the feminine, right? Conversely, if you were to meet, let's say, with some artists for now, I'm also a bit like you have another meeting where you know you come in and there's someone who has baked buns, and there's someone who lives very nicely, and there's something that smells lovely of freshly baked buns, there are ceramics uh pottery ceramics as you know such exquisite quality and you know it all fits at the same time you get lost in it enormously aesthetically delicious but there is no agenda you know there is no one so the chit chat goes you know you are then there is someone who says something the other floats along and it is enormously cozy and lovely and nice but there is no agenda for the day there is no one who takes the leadership to say what is it we what should we achieve here what should the outcome of the meeting be then you can go home and that's what you would have had with some workshops, someone is crazy good at doing workshops where you leave thinking it was absolutely wonderful it was almost ecstatic and you know I feel so mindblown and cocoa ceremony and stuff and that in itself can also be delicious so it doesn't always have to have an output. But sometimes it's also the thing about it may well be, but was there anything that we took away from it? Did we take away something that had been done so? Did we take something with us that can actually anchor so we can practice and create change in everyday life? Do we have any tools with which we can retain some of this feeling or was it just a feeling of well-being that should arise? It would be nice if you've had an in-depth massage if you've paid a lot of money for some kind of entrepreneurial course that should be able to give you tools to move forward, and then you come home with, I had, we had bubbles, and we had chocolate covered strawberries and stuff, but I can't remember what the hell they were talking about. You know, there's been too little structure. There has simply been too little structure, there has been too little concrete that you could go back and translate. So you can see that they dance together all the time. And that's the great thing when we collaborate with people. And you can also do that in your own daily life. It's like, how can you take both into account? So it will be with both your home and your office. So now you can, if you can see a bit of my office, right? You can probably see that I'm a bit more, I'm a bit well versed in cleaning. Taking care of my environment, I can almost sit in a cave and work, because I completely disappear in it. That doesn't mean that the aesthetic, the pleasure, the sensual doesn't mean anything to me, because it does. But I can, but I'm more inclined to go all mission, where I almost don't think about God, I could have maybe just gotten a chair that I sat on a little better, or I could maybe get out. So that was something I had to learn, and I'm still not very good at it when it comes to interior design. It doesn't interest me. I might have figured out something like that with something with some scents. I may have figured out that I need to have something, I need to have some proper coffee. I need to have some things I need to have. But what you can learn more about is how you're wired. If you are a very sensual person who finds it very easy to be in the moment, and you've probably encountered that. This can be both women and men. It will be a person who, when you meet him or her, they always have time. They always have time to be present with you. It's incredible, it's almost like they're always And that's what they have to do just like that, no. And then there's something exciting over here. So they're really good at immersing themselves and they're really good at being and they're really good at staying focused on you. They're really good at exchanging and being and and they can be extremely skilled or extremely naturally skilled at accommodating your feelings and mirroring them. It would be really easy for them. And it would also be easy to touch their body. They would be very sensual in the body too. So you know, giving a hug. When you can feel that someone who gives you a hug doesn't like it. And then someone where it's just so natural there, it's a very big difference. What you can say about people who are very feminine, who are very naturally feminine, what they typically want to get back to is that they have a lot of dreams, a lot of projects that they want to accomplish, but that they don't get to complete. So people like that will typically have 10 projects. So, if you visit them, there's a greenhouse that's half finished over here, and then there were some strawberry plants that never really got going, because they were trying to be beautiful. And then there are some vines up there. And then there are some flowers up here, and then phew, you could have a little island. A lot of ideas, a lot of No, that would be wonderful. We could sit there and talk, and then we could build it there, and then the sun comes down, and then you could barbecue there. And you know, there's a lot of inspiration, there's a lot of things that could be delicious, and they could be stimulating for the senses and for relationships and stuff like that. But they often die like that. They simply die in structure, because keeping structure is difficult because it's so counterproductive. It's so counter-intuitive to go in and say, fine, now I'm not changeable, but now I make a decision and then I change. It's a bit like that, but I No, but you could have sun, it could be red, it could also be black, it could also be yellow. It could be, you know, there can be something nice in being that continuous energy of creation, where you're constantly thinking of possibilities. But it will, it can be difficult to say, hold on, well, now I've chosen that we have, we, we can't afford everything. We can't have a patio up in the third floor plus a swimming pool over there, and then island, well, you know, we have to choose some of it, so now we're doing the f****** patio now is what we're doing, and the other stuff gets scrapped. And it can feel When you're in the feminine, it can feel painful. It's almost like children not being born. It can feel like lost and lost potential. Well, I've also seen what could be beautiful, and what could also be delicious, and what could also be, it's just that if you're very feminine identified, if it's for whatever reason, there can be cultural reasons, there can be quests, there can be what you have with you eternally, there can also play a role, because if you have a feminine body, then you also have a feminine hormone system. Or if you have a female body, then it will naturally move in some of the feminine. So we also have the cycle, our menstrual cycle. So there is something here that can be a little easier to tap into. You as a woman will have access to testosterone. You also release testosterone like men do, but you release much less than men. So for many women it's harder. A lot of women tell me they find it hard to limit themselves and just say, no, I don't want to do that. And so you have a bit of a biology sometimes. You have a little bit because you produce a lot of oxytin. You make more oxycin. You produce testosterone. So this thing about becoming signaling substances, this thing about practicing being a boundary setter can get a lot of women. Not all women, they just don't have a problem with it, but many women can feel that it's challenging for them. And here I would just say that you can hit yourself very hard in the head and just like, why can't I speak up, and I must be weak, and there must be everything. It's more his understanding that, well, in some ways, if you're very femininely identified and you also have a female body that has a female hormonal system, which you could say is cyclical, then you have signal substances that want to connect you to things. Connection is also feminine because you have a lot of oxytocin. Testosterone is bounding. Men also have both, they are also oxytocin and they also produce testosterone. They have more, they have more testosterone. Even the most slippery man will secrete more testosterone to be able to become a man uh than the most bad a** uh business woman. Lack better. I mean, those are such stereotypical words, right? So it's just to say that even though feminine masculine has nothing to do with gender, there is something about being a woman and being more oxytinb and more oxyticinb than men are. So there are still some aspects here that kind of interfere. So for many women, the feminine will sometimes be a little more well-versed because our body kind of conveys that to us. And for many men, the masculine will be a little more well-versed because they also have some signaling substances that dot the boundaries. So uh but but but But the rest is probably how evolution has created us into gender stereotypes, and then we've been locked into the idea that women should be like this and men should be like that. And then it has been interpreted to be feminine and masculine ways, where you have to be like this, no, the feminine masculine are universal qualities that we can strengthen, that we can, that are in us, no matter what f*** gender we have. And you could say for many men it's actually because they've been conditioned through evolution not to be very in touch with their emotions. This also makes it difficult for them to connect. So, they function emotionally differently. They have become broad in a different way. It doesn't mean that you don't have emotions that they can't access at all. It's not at all, it's nothing to do with that. But the female mirror runes active longer while. So as a woman, you would mirror someone else's emotions longer. You would be able to be in it longer. You would be able to put yourself in the other person's place emotionally easier than most men. And it's probably about being able to resign throughout the story. But it hasn't been appropriate for men to show emotion. You shouldn't be at war and then stand and cry. You can't do that. You'll get shot. You shouldn't stand down in the coal mine. And so, you know, there's also something about how we've been shaped over thousands of years of evolution. So rather than saying that we can say that men are just like that, women are just like that now. Some of these behaviors are a product of how we have been shaped, evolution has shaped us as each gender to try to survive in a world that has been a bit violent. So that's why we can also be quite curious, no matter what gender we are, how the hell can we get in touch with these universal qualities, the feminine and masculine, to break these stereotypes, because the stereotypes are boring. So we can't use them. So you go back to this idea that if you're very feminine and if you're very if you're listening to this and you're thinking, oh my god, this feminine thing, you know it rings true and it's something I enjoy being in and I yearn for it and it's very natural for me to be in, so you'll probably also recognize this thing about keeping structure and going in and taking an idea something you long to create and making boundaries make a plan and try to keep that plan long enough so that what you've wanted over here or felt long after over here, that it's actually there, that it would be difficult for you. And therefore it can benefit you to uh go in a little bit and say, where the hell am I most? Because here it will actually be beneficial for you to start practicing your masculine muscles, which you will have a lot of resistance on. So if you're me, I'll actually That's not actually something I've said. It's something David Dat said, and he's right. It's annoying as hell. I think he's on to something here. If you're naturally very feminine, it might benefit you more to start having a disciplined spiritual practice, a meditation practice, where you sit down every morning at six o'clock for fifteen minutes and then maybe in the evening. So it's not a very long time sitting, but it's actually the thing where you actually have to train your system to be comfortable with structure and discipline. Something that you will have. It's actually a little more beneficial for you than going to another cocoa ceremony. Feel free to do cocoa ceremony and anything else that you enjoy. But if you have if it's difficult for you. If you have a lot of unpaid bills, if you have a lot of 10 failed projects that you never got through, you actually need to train your nervous system to take some small projects that you get the satisfaction of completing. In fact, you need to go in and exercise these muscles that you are not so much with. And if you're very masculine, which I've tended to survive, it's always to go in and fix. But, on the other hand, I had to go in and do some ecstatic dancing and run around on moustaches and stuff like that. I hated hugging people and stuff like that. Shut up, it was so annoying. And it's not that I don't get natural a lot, but it has softened a lot more. So when I started self-development in my 20s, where you know, you had to go around and dance with strangers, like this is how you stop now. But the thing about being something that I can actually go in too, when I teach, I expose my students to it. They hate it, you know, it's just that we have to go in and feel the difference. It's not that you have to, you know, you have to get out and out of the comfort zone and stuff like that. You can leave that to others. But you can actually use music here. You can actually use music to see, because there's a difference in how you move. And this is again where you can focus on or use your daily life to practice being in the different qualities, so you get a bodily experience of how it feels when I'm in the feminine and how it feels when I'm in the mass, because then you can best and you can know consciously and can switch between them. So some music, you could say when you're in the feminine, you move your body very intuitively. It's very soft. Um, it's very hipb the body uh folds as it wants to. You can feel a kind of tension in your lower back, right? You know, when you're in a feminine position, you want to tighten it up. You want to get life and you know air and presence in so that the tension can be loosened up. So if a tense muscle releases, it's almost ecstatic, right? So in the feminine you want well-being and ecstatic suffering. Well, that and it's enormously delicious, so we should finally have more of that. We have it naturally, right? So in the feminine, it's really about moving your body in the way it wants to move. Without purpose, without direction. It's not to lose weight. It's not to get strong, it's not to get toned. It's not even in the feminine. All that stuff over there, that's masculine. There's nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight. There's nothing wrong with toning your muscles. But then as soon as you go over and have a plan that your body has to control itself and look a certain way and be able to weigh something specific or be able to handle so many pounds, that's masculine discipline. And it's quite interesting when we look at how we approach exercise. In terms of keeping the body going and keeping it alive. Because because you're really beneficial that you have both flavors. Or have you been over here a lot? The question is, have you been over here a lot in that it's been a lot of scheduled training, and it should be able to do this, it should be able to withstand it, and it should hold weight, and it has a plan for the body all the time, and then the body is pushed to fill it and maybe also push yourself over the edge many times here. If you dare, you can try to say, hey, let me tilt your period and try for a period of time to only exercise, to only be with movement forms where my body is in the feminine. That is to say, well, what does your body have? They want to go for a walk, so you go for a walk. Right now I feel like walking at this pace. When I feel like walking at this pace. Right now I'm just sitting and doing, you know, child pose, you know, like mine or stretching, you know, you're not pushing it in any way, and then it might suddenly want to jump on the trampoline, so you do that. You know, if you're very masculine, and if you can feel the f*** of pleasure, of just being, of just relaxing, and of being with a feeling until it changes again. Sure, that would probably be healthy and good for, how the hell does he get over there or phew I know I don't know I don't feel like I can lick it there it can't be for anything so it could be a good idea to try to let go of some control or structure here and just be and then you are with what I experienced when I became aware of it here that I was far too much the masculine and went over the edge and it was completely annoying and I hadn't read about these concepts at all so I just experienced it quite raw that I was kind of like I I I I I was went down almost with an I I I aborted and it knocked me off my feet. Um, and there I was just lying there, and I had always been used to, but I could rally, but I could never rally more than that I had a plan A, B C D E for how to survive and move on. And here I found that I directed my actions so deeply, my island, my freedom of action, what I could act at all, was as if it had been taken away from me. So I could do it, I wasn't all the way down there, where some people hit depression, they couldn't even get out of bed. I could do that. I could get out of bed. I could, you know, get out of bed. I could do laundry, I could cook. I could do this, I could do that. But the thing about, well, that was also what I could do when I was on unemployment benefit. That's what I could do. I could read books, and then I could get up, and then I could do the really necessary things that people do now. But I couldn't make a plan. I couldn't predict, what should I do, what do I want? And I was used to always having a plan and always having, I'm going this way, I'm going that way, I'm going that way. And it's the scariest thing I've ever experienced. Uh, so I would say, uh, I wasn't self-doubting, but I was like, it's easier to just go from here. So what I can do at all, I can't work with this at all. So that and that, you can really just see the situation, that I was so caught up in trying to control life with all my masculine or not or I was so much into having to act to f****** survive because I was so fucking scared of life that I couldn't feel it you know, I was constantly trying to escape from life and and even if and feel anything that was unpleasant and there I just had to surrender to extreme discomfort there was nothing to do there I was there there was there was nothing I had to be down and be almost have felt I got my legs chopped off because I had to I had to be pulled into surrender. It wasn't fucking voluntary uh And there I would probably recommend that you can practice a little in surrendering the case when she gets all the way out there. You just want to have an understanding of this. You want to understand that it can be beneficial to get over it. I just need to keep an eye on the time really. Is there time now? It was beneficial to get over it and practice this surrender. And by that it actually just means that you surrender, that you are. So by surrender means you are with what is. So that is, if you're standing and like f***, I can feel something uncomfortable coming up in me right now. I tend to run away from it or try to park it or try to drink a cup of coffee or go for a run or do something. Okay, now I just try to sit with it and close my eyes and then I try to breathe into it. Then you try to feel, what the hell is that coming up? Is it anger? Is it sadness? Is it musig? I can't feel anything. Is it emptiness? Is it is it nothing? Is it just such nomes? It's fine. There is no judgment in the feminine. There are no negative and positive emotions in feminine. It's a categorization that must be masculine. So this idea that there is something we want to categorize, something we want to have, something we want more of and less of is all masculine categorization in the feminine. It's just that the way you feel is something you want to commit suicide. Yes, you can do that. You can have it when something you don't want to live with. Yes, you can have it. So the state withdraws again. You know, it's psychological. There is no judgment. You can see that the tsunami doesn't have an island either, it's very sober. Yes, there are lives dying and stuff like that. But it's not it's not it's not evil. It's not out to get anyone. It's just a force of nature that creates something as something is destroyed and something new is created. It's inherent in the feminine. That's also why life, death and rebirth are in the feminine. And for some men who are very masculine invested, it can be very difficult, because they feel like they don't have that, so when I help men also with healing, which I see energy work that I work with. So it can sometimes make it so even if I don't touch them, so sometimes we sit in our city doing healing so it's energy work so I work on their energy sometimes so close that pain faints as if they have so many structures that when they have to surrender to the way they thought they were or the world was that is about to collapse like their ears because they But it was just an understanding it doesn't hold. Or now my business has collapsed or my relationship has collapsed, so no, I've been acting like an asshole and I thought I, you know something, what the hell an understanding or a belief or an identity crisis or something that changes. It's like it settles more physically with them. But I think it's because they've been pressured to be so much in structure. It's not because they don't have the ability and because the feminine is available in them, but for some men it's actually about really getting in touch with the feminine in themselves. To dare to go through this death cycle of well, your world, your understanding of who you are, how the world is put together and how you thought your loved ones are right now is falling on your ears, that is, it dies, but in the feminine nothing ever dies, energy becomes something else because the transformation is also in the feminine. So you can see nature right now there are no leaves on the trees but they will come next year so you know it just so yes they just so in so in our psyche there is both our physics at some point this body dies and then I'm put in the ground and then it goes to soil and then there is the spirit out of it. So you know that in itself there is also life and rebirth. I don't emerge in the same form, but other life emerges from my remains. And this also happens in the psychic. It's not just our physical body that dies and my skin dies and everything else. It also happens in the psychic that my understanding of being when I became a mother, being a young woman, being single, not having children died because a, uh, slightly older woman, now also a mother now with a slightly softer body, you know, was born. And so there is a constant change in your psyche. And what's really important here is that you can actually surrender to death, to life, death, rebirth, the cycle. Because if you don't do that, then by the time you get to 50, you're going to be terrified and have to do an incredible amount of botox to try to look like you're not aging, because you're not surrendering to these transformations that are happening in you. The more you can take them in advance, that's what shamans call dying before you die. So it's actually, you know, inviting death in, because death is the only thing we know about this life, the only thing we know for sure, is the body dies. Whether you die, what's inside the body, whether it's something that's something constant that never dies, that's my conviction. But we all know that the body has x number of years, and then it breaks down and then it formulates, and then it becomes something else. And that's probably the fact we have the hardest time with. And it's not because there can't be grief. And you also have to have sometimes when we look at our kids and say one day, I'm not feeling anything. It's insanely beautiful that we can feel that we can feel that we're not here anymore. Because it will make it easier to surrender to enjoy what is. So the fact that death is so close to life is crucial for us to be able to live life and appreciate life. So this thing about life, death and rebirth, I would say that women have an advantage, I don't know if it's an advantage because it's as if we're better off than men. I don't think so. But there is a difference here, because you have a body that undergoes a bit of this, at least all the menstrual years. It can feel like a little death. Uh, you know, the egg that doesn't get fertilized that gets expelled. Um, you have a body that can give birth whether you choose to have children or not, you have a body that can create life out of something and also that can die in you in an abortion. So you could say that you can physically feel death. Uh, and you can also kind of feel the different phases. Uh, if you haven't taken PP in the country and been affected, you will typically also be able to feel the phases in your cycle, where around ovulation you can be flying, around menstruation you can be tired. So even top female athletes are starting to actually use their cycle to plan when to perform and when not to perform. Because having a cyclical hormonal system is something we haven't even considered in the way we have created the world and how. So therefore, it's extremely important for women to take into account that men's hormonal system is not as cyclical. So getting out and working not in a purely masculine but in a purely male world, where you can preferably decide that it's not good for men, but where you are constantly in the masculine, not as a man, but you are constantly in masculine qualities, it's insanely hard for a woman's body. Unless that means you can't be baddags and can do a lot of action, you can. But I would recommend that you take a few minutes every hour or during the day when you have a lot of structure, where you just tune in. You might put on some music and just move your body, that you simply do it as a habit, like brushing, flossing and brushing your teeth and stuff like that. Get it into the habit that when you can feel yourself going into overdrive, how much you've been in a lot of actions, you just switch. And you may have some tracks, some music you put on where you switch to the feminine. It could be that you have a favorite cup, a favorite hook where it's easy to surrender to pleasure, just being. Maybe you have a list of funny jokes or something that makes you laugh spontaneously. You can't be in that kind of action and purposefulness and maybe worry or something that you're in spontaneous laughter. It can let's do, you know, so then spontaneous laughter. It's also when you're with me laughing spontaneously, so you're present right now with what has activated the laughter. So it's the same with that and it's the same with crying. So when you are and allow an emotion to pass through you and you allow an emotion and you are with it and you direct your presence towards it, then you are feminine. So it's again about being able to switch between them. And you can also incorporate some of the feminine when you cook dinner. So maybe I usually do it with a glass of wine or put on some good music. and move my body a little bit while I do that boring thing that needs to be done. So I try to pep up some of the structure. Um, because it's in the feminine that we feel life where in the masculine you feel your body less because you're actually a bit in the future. You sit and create something that needs to be finished. That's also why I included an example in my posts. There's a big difference between eating from a feminine place and eating from a masculine place. That is, if you stand and cook and you are just that is, you feel your hunger and you look and you feel like oh what do I feel like today just like that no fst I don't fucking bother you know you feel that we feel like that not I feel like that not where is it m and you make a delicious food how it ends is for you still do a lot of it aesthetically some of it taste experience mom just and season with some delicious salt and poo and what the hell I know and that means that when you eat it you actually eat quite slowly you enjoy biting so it's a feminine way of approaching food when you're the masculine you have much more tendency to like you well I have 10 minutes before I have the next meeting so I have to throw something down so that I don't go cold or go sugar cold or suddenly can't perform or suddenly he gets hungry and can't think clearly. There's nothing wrong with sometimes just throwing down sand jokes and moving on to the next meeting, so you accomplished a lot. It can sometimes be really cool to have had a day where you've just gone off and created and created and created and created and where eating is more like, well, it's meant to keep me steel, it's meant to give me energy, like I'm fueling the car, the meal just has to give me some energy before I get through but to do it all the time and it's the only way we eat, then you're not taking advantage of the gift that lies in and to enjoy a meal in the feminine. So it's more about being aware of creating island holes or spaces, pleasure spaces, where we surrender to the pleasurable. In other words, where we actually create the time for it. And that's probably one of the biggest challenges, is that it can feel like we're so pressured and so stressed, um, and have so little time that we, um, that we're too little in the five But I think what I want to invite you to in 23, because what I can see applies to most people, I think applies to most people, is that there is the great hunger in women. It's actually being more in the feminine. And you could say that being in the feminine can sometimes mean spending more time with friends and spending more time with your children. And I hear many people say that I need to spend more time with my children and more time with my friends. And that may well be the case if it gives you presence, if it creates presence, but if you're already at home looking after your children, and you're just like “Damn, I'm so tired of being with the kids yet. Then maybe that's not where you refuel in the feminine. It could also be that you have friends with a lot of unresolved emotional issues that make it difficult for you not to be present all the time. Because you're constantly in doubt about whether it's an accusation or whether the energy is strange and you know that you don't refuel because the feminine is spontaneous, so it's that exchange that flows. You can be with friends where the exchange flows and then you hit a spot and it's just like hey, it's so hard, can you feel that locked up I or you promise. Shall we look at it together? And it's actually water. It's a very feminine way of being together, which I think will be the new black here in the future, because that's what I can see people are hungry for. They're actually hungry for us to be able to realize when we become aware of when we lock together both with our family, with our friends and how we can unlock so that it flows, things flow again. And what often happens is that if we lock up, we meet with a friend, something happens. She says something, and you say something, something happens, and you can feel her locking up or you locking up, you can feel something happening that you don't mention and then you separate and then it's like you don't really call each other again, and it gets strange and then you have a lot of thoughts and fantasies about what the hell was that and does she not like me or do I not really want to decide and everything like that a lot of what we experience is really just about an energy lock we fall into something that hurts so the more we practice being the feminine to be with what hurts and say hey can you feel that lock just now we should just try to feel what was it really what how does it feel inside you okay n did you see when you were afraid I criticized you or you were afraid that you felt you were let down or you were afraid of what the hell it might be Could I think I'm oversha I think I bared my soul to you and was afraid that you could not handle it or I think you looked a little disapproving a little uncomprehending I was in doubt if there there was room to be who I am you don't know my accusation that the other should see you but this thing about exchanging what the hell is happening in us when we lock, we can witness each other's locks because we dare from a vulnerable place to put them into play and here we can unlock again together. So I think it's simply the future way of being together - we get unlocked together. Because that often happens when we're with others. We want to be with others. But what happens is when that happens when we're together. Say we're going to lock, we're going to bump into each other's locks, and then we're going to make these knots on top of knots on top of knots. And it's a huge hassle. It's a huge hassle, and it hurts, and we don't know what to do with it. And our parents haven't learned how to deal with it. Their parents haven't learned how to deal with it. So now we're here and we have a longing. I can, when I talk about these things, I can hear that people are like: “Shut up, man, that's a language I've missed because, what's going on here?” And that's the thing about like, God, these are some qualities that we can lose ourselves in. So of course, if you're going to unlock something emotionally, you need to have some of the people you're with who also want to unlock. So sometimes you'll be with people where there's a lot of islands you can't touch because, you know, if we go there, if we talk politics or if we talk about my childhood with my parents, they lock up. Or you know, there are some areas that are kind of flammable. We can only move into flammable areas if both parties are willing to stand with gentleness and label and lock up together. Some people don't want to unlock because unlocking means you have to feel the pain. That is, it actually requires an over It means the feminine. Some people just want us to keep the alliances we've always had and pretend it's all cozy and avoid themes because phew, I can't handle it. So there's also more respect for people who don't want to unlock because you can't force anyone to do anything. What you can do is if you're with someone who you really want to do this work, become aware, hey, why was that, why did the energy get weird here? Why did we get off on the wrong foot? What's going on here? Uh, that but the person doesn't want to do it, that's you can ø you can kind of ration yourself. In the sense that it may not be so much of yourself that you share. And it may also be that you're not together that much or you're not with this person for that long. It's something that you have to come to terms with how you want to be with other people. Where it's also Danish between the masculine and the feminine. It's like, well, there's someone who takes the framework for the relationship. Um, and also sometimes that takes the framework for a conflict. If you're in conflict with your partner, sometimes you're the one who's good at taking the, hey, come here, let's talk about things. Sometimes you might want to be him. So then again, we have the dance all the time. We constantly have the dance between the masculine structure, the masculine overview and the feminine feel, devoted to the power that's like searching and dancing. And it happens in you all the time. And it happens between you and the other person. Whether it's in a meeting, for example, where you're inside, where no one has made a proper agenda, so the whole thing sails, or you come in and the whole thing is totally tight, and there's no soul, and there's no meaning in it. It's messed up, but it's totally straightforwardly set up. So then in that way, you'll typically be able to tell. You would quickly notice if it ended up a bit too much in one boat or the other, where what's ecstatically delicious, what's really delicious, is when the dance works. That is, when there is harmony, when it becomes the most delicious tango. So if you have a productive and fruitful course, where at the same time there's a delicious lunch that smells nice or is aired out, or there are aesthetic colors and there's that flow energy between the others. But it's ugly or ugly. And the same when you have a nice day with your partner, where there is an exchange and maybe you know part sexuality and it's not about whether the sexual act is ecstasy. Although that is also delicious. It may also be in the meeting uh that pain comes up. It is released and witnessed. So it's more this you will be able to feel when it's in the closet when the dance is in the closet. But it also means that you will very much notice when it's not. And it's not that we have to dance perfectly all the time. That's not what it's about. There's no ideal of perfection here. It's actually more about bringing consciousness into it. What is actually humanly possible? Now it's getting a bit out of sync. What can we do, what does it take? Or what needs to be paid attention to? Is there something that needs to be spoken to? Is there something that needs to be felt? Is there a structure that needs to be taken? Is there something that sails too much? Are there things we're not taking care of? Because instead we sit and dream of all sorts of possibilities with someone you know with unpaid bills or we launch a project that ends up going bankrupt and costing too much money. Of course, you also have to take some risks. There are no guarantees, but you know, if you tend to have a hard time resisting structure, it's still good to come over and practice this. I have five minutes, six minutes left before I open up for questions, so I just want to come back to sexuality, which I said I would get into. And sexuality is also a Danish between the masculine and the feminine. Whether it's a man and a woman, or two men, or two women having sex, because the poles will still be there. So in order to have a great fuck or just a fuck. to come together, then someone has to surrender. There is someone who has a longing to surrender and surrender and let themselves be directed and penetrated. And there is someone who longs to take control, penetrate, direct the energy. If you have two people who want to surrender and be directed, nothing happens. Then you have two people lying in a bed. Nothing is happening. There's no tension whatsoever. If you have two people who both want to penetrate and diage the energy, then you have a fight. And you can say it's not just sexual, it's the same if you're going for a car ride with a person. You can't have two people driving a car at the same time. It's just, it's just dangerous. And the person driving the car gets annoyed as hell with the other person who's always commenting. Don't drive too close to the curb. Now you have to drive so fast. And don't you watch out for the other driver and you're a bit too close to the guy in front. If you're driving with someone, you have to take the feminine pole and lean into the fact that you trust them not to kill you. Or you don't have to ride along, right? You can see it all the time. All the time feminine masculine, Danish all the time. And that also applies sexually. So that means that the feminine pole is to surrender to ecstasy, surrender to being directed, surrender to being witnessed by the masculine in its ecstasy and almost to disintegrate. This is the feminine longing. And this is also where the invitation lies. In the masculine longing there is witnessing and being allowed to penetrate and lead the feminine to a higher and higher degree of ecstasy and witness the ecstasy of the feminine. So it's like the basic structure of the i in i in the sexual energy. And it's a polarity. And you can say polarity, one place is polarity, so polarity opposites create friction, create energy. Plus and minus create energy. To have sexual, to create any kind of energy, you have to have a plus and a minus. Then shit happens. So that also applies to sexual energy. So that's why you actually need to have two poles. In other words, if you have a gay couple, there will not always, but typically there will also be someone who wants to be in one pole more than the other. At the same time, of course, you can also switch, so of course you can play in the poles. But the more you step in and be a directing pole and the other person wants to surrender, well then the more sexual energy you get. Uh, and you can see in some way what you're kind of preying on here is that you can maybe see something kind of sneaky, where we're into dominance and submission, right, so you can maybe see a bit of such extreme extreme extreme extreme opposites of the dance between surrendering and directing energy. So when we talk about sexuality, one of the most important things is that you become aware of which pole you enjoy being in. Because yes, you can always be playful, but most people have a primary pole. And it seems so hard to be sexually playful if you're not fulfilled in your primary pole. So if you long to be taken. Many women, because many women are identified with the feminine sexual pole. Many women, in their sexual orientation, want, miss being taken by a man. So they miss being penetrated. Not all women, but many women can recognize. You can also watch a lot of Outlander. Many series are built around it. If you've seen Outlander and you identify with Clair, well, she's such a little petite woman being taken by a big muscular man, right? So it's very much the archetypal image of what's going on in Mang's fantasies and surrendering to being witnessed and being looked at. For example, Laander has just done something with how he looks at his wife. It's really well cast. They're playing on the archetypes here. How Jamie looks at her. Well, a lot of women, a lot of women really want to be looked at, witnessed, so he's so good at keeping his focus on her and only having his focus on her, and the others don't become important. And that's what the masculine can do. It can keep focus. That's also why it's so frustrating for women. It's not necessarily about jealousy when the man loses focus. But it's so fucking awesome as a woman. As a woman, you feel really chosen when a man can't do anything but focus on you. You feel really really chosen, and there can be a deep desire to feel chosen by your partner. And if he loses focus and looks at all kinds of other women, which women are beautiful, you can understand that. But if he loses focus, it can cause grief. It can cause pain, which for some feels like jealousy, and for others feels like that lost potential again. Lost potential that we could have gone deeper here together. But you, you shat in the corners. Your attention is all over the place. So many women crave the masculine focus of the man. And many men long to see the woman's burst of life. And so men long to see the feminine. If men are masculine in their sexuality and women are feminine in their sexuality, the man will typically long to see the feminine, the feminine light, the feminine energy flowing through the female body. So it's actually seeing how the feminine moves the female body. Um. And it's a lot about, as some men say, well, the thing where you've got a smile, a spontaneous smile for a beautiful woman, that's how he can be high for a whole week. So it's the light, it's the way, and it's because you can say that the invitation lies in the feminine. And the problem that arises in relationships is that men start telling their women that they miss her taking the initiative. And what happens in the woman is that her brain short-circuits because she's like f***, I can't take it anymore, if you want me to ride you, if you want me to do something, I'm tired, and there are children, and there are resources on my chest, and I can't take it anymore. So her head tells her to take the initiative, so she has to do more than what she's already doing, she has to do more, but doing something sexual is a masculine act. And what she often longs for is not to do anything at all but to surrender to letting the ecstasy and pleasure roll through her body and let herself be directed sexually. That's often what she longs for. So then she hears I have to do something with erg gets even further away from what I long for. But what he actually often says here. But the words we misunderstand each other what he he longsfor which you don't have language too often sometimes he can long she may take maybe now maybe he really longs to surrender also sexually to her but she doesn't want to take the masculine pole and so right there they don't fit together sexually it is possible that you don't fit together sexually in the sense that if both of them want to surrender then you have two f there's nothing wrong with that there's nothing wrong with whether you as a man long to surrender sexually as your primary pole or if you as a woman want to be more dominant or directing the energy as a sexual pole. There is nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just that sometimes you can find one where if you both want the same thing, it's not a damn good sexual match. Fortunately, it's often the case that the poles align, but sometimes there can be layers of cultural misunderstanding that we haven't really delved deep into understanding our sexuality and everything else that confuses us. So it's often the man he really means when he says, I miss you taking the initiative, it's that he misses your uh he misses you being inviting. What he's really saying is, I miss seeing the way your body moves when it's in pleasure. I miss seeing the way you light up when you see me. Well, and sometimes it can be said like, why don't you ever smile at me, why don't you acknowledge me? Well, he misses, he he it's all a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit maybe a little bit an attempt to convey that he misses seeing the feminine through you, because that's what he's most attracted to. It's almost like saying, it's probably the thing that can arouse the man the most. It's the feminine through the body or through nature. I mean, we've all tried to fall from some server dude who just rides the waves on courage by nature. But it can be damn hard to beat a woman's body and give him that kind of ecstasy. So sometimes you also have that thing where they get all the feminine things they actually get in nature. Like mountains or waves or whatever. Um, and as a woman, you can be a little bit like, well, he might not be able to focus on me for very long. Because his focus wanders to a place where he's grappling with courage and nature a little more than he's grappling with me, right? So there's something about this that can be quite fascinating about sexuality and understanding the feminine and the masculine, because what you can understand here is that you can actually understand, what is your pole? So if your pole is, if you long to step into the feminine pole sexually, then you can also know, what is my gift here to my partner? And your gift is to be inviting. Not assuming inviting. It's not seductive. Seductive means you're over in a masculine way. That is, you're strategizing on how to turn him on. There's nothing necessarily wrong with that. So if it turns you on, then I'll do it. But that but but but that's just but in seduction, as soon as you make a strategy and think, I have to wear specific clothes and you have to sit a certain way and I have to take nude pictures a certain way, you're not in your body. You're in an image of how you should be perceived. When you are in the inviting, then you are feminine say so then you are n then you are that's why you practice being the feminine do now you enjoy what your body. That is, you surrender to your own body pleasure without thinking about wondering how he sees me. I wonder if he's not coming soon or if he thinks I'm a bit too fat or all that. That's what it melts away. That is, you are the orgasm. You are you being caressed. You are the caress you receive. And it's possible and it's also possible for the man to practice and practice being in the feminine position in relation to receiving touch, where he really just has to surrender to touch. So in that way, it can really expand the sexual space between you, the intimacy between you by being aware of those, okay, right here, where is polarity? Polarity in the public debate, it can create war and everything else, because it also creates friction. But that means a lot of friction in a social debate. It can get a bit flammable, but a lot of friction in the bedroom or wherever you like to fuck and make love, it's really nice. It's really hot. So then finally use the polarity, use the poles in relation to enjoying human sexuality with the person you enjoy and enjoy it with or to enjoy it with yourself. You can use a fantasy image. So it was a very even six minutes, I actually went five minutes over time. Just also to get the sexuality hooked up. So it's been a long talk about the whole feminine masculine and Danish thing. I hope I've given some examples of how you can play with your everyday life and become aware of it. But now I'm opening up for questions, so for those of you who are left, any fire away and then answer you in there if you have any questions about everything I've talked about or in relation to the posts. And I'll just go in here because I can also see them inside. There was just a nice one approved. So feel free to write if you have any questions. Can I have some water? So while you're writing or until someone shows up or until we Then I can also take a little bit further in terms of how you can work with it specifically. Firstly, I would recommend that you start to become aware of what you are most like in everyday life. What qualities are you most into? Are you very masculine or are you very feminine? Most people usually end up saying they are very masculine, because that's the way society is structured. That's why it can be good to ask yourself, what do you really thrive in? What do you like to be in the most? Um, and it's not always certain that it corresponds to where you are most.

  I've heard a lot of women say that they're very much in the masculine all the time doing and acting and planning, but they actually thrive most in being more in the unplanned states of being, states of enjoyment, states of creation. Uh, but that they do not experience that they are in it very much. Hey, there was a question the whole time. So I'll take it right here, because sometimes I can be hard to see. What about creative expression, for example? Often it has a purpose, but you can be completely absorbed and in pure flow. Is it feminine energy or masculine? Yes, that's very interesting, because we're actually kind of in there, and I think I've also written a post about that in relation to the difference between masculine flow, action, masculine power and feminine power. And sometimes I think you'll actually find that sometimes it's almost as if they merge. Because when you're in a creative creation process. I think the way you write it, where you're in flow, I think what you're actually experiencing is the ecstasy of the dance being so delicious, right? Because you're creating something. That is, you create something where you take some unrealized potential. There you have something possible. You have something that is raw material, kanva, that has nothing on it, and then you start creating. But it's not in the sense of, oh my god, I have to finish it because the customer needs it tomorrow. You know, that's it, so then you try to take, you know, creative resources like that and force it through to kind of get it sold, right? Sometimes you do that. So that's the thing, it's not a judgment. There's no judgment on that. It's just that when you're in that place where you have such a high that uh uh uh also flow theory among other things and you go in and talk about it, I would actually see it more as if you've just hit that delicious sweet spot where the dance goes up because you both maybe make something that actually has an output but you disappear in the act itself. And you could say when we talk about feminine creative power and masculine creative power, they can feel different. Masculine creative power can be. I've talked to a lot of men about that and again it's not because masculine men are the same but sometimes it's good to talk to men because they seem to be more masculine identified so I've talked to several men about this kind of being in the process, this being in the process and having to solve something that is really difficult you know it's huge that they give them a kick men also do vasopressinbunding and that is men they very often tie themselves together with a task that can tie it quite closely. Women can also bond through a task, but they actually bond more through all the relational conversation and everything relational that has been cool about a task. So there's a bit of a difference here and again depending on what you're most identified with. So masculine power can feel like you're on the other side after a hard ride and you've worked hard to do something that's been difficult. It can make a very masculine identified person with the qualities that identify very much with the qualities that are inherent in the masculine enormously. And it's been great along the way. It makes them so, it has a lot of balls in the air. It makes them so fluid. It makes them tall. Whereas if you're more feminine, you can have a lot of balls in the air and keep solving something until it's solved. You can do that, but it doesn't necessarily feel very good for you. It feels good when it's done. It feels great when you're free to spend more time on it. Now I'm free to just be. Now I don't have to focus on that. If you're more masculine, it's like as soon as you've solved something difficult, you want to throw yourself into something new difficult, because you get a high on it. And that can be pretty good to know in relation to your coworkers, because where do you actually thrive best? Because it can be great to have someone with different qualities on board. My own husband, he's the kind of person who thinks it's great. He thinks it's great when he has to solve difficult tasks. He gets a high from it. I hate it. I hate that something has come up. We've booked a hotel and then there's something you have to complain about. You have to solve it and stuff like that. But I think it's so cool when it's landed. And he can be a little high. So what should we do now? I just feel like I shouldn't do a damn thing in there. I don't enjoy being in the process at all. It's not enjoyable for me. Then I also have with my work. I don't enjoy breaking technical things. I'm fucking terrible at it. What I enjoy is actually being in the creative flow, where it's an exchange. So it's actually taking a theme and seeing what can I do? How can I dance with this theme, how many variations can I get? What can I, how can I put this together? It gets me high. Um, and it's also not changing the result. So it's also, if I've made a product, as if I've gone on, you know, a bit, well, it's finished, then I have to create something new. It can be a bit of a hassle when you're self-employed and have to repackage your stuff and stuff like that, right? Because I'm not interested in that shit. So I've learned structure, and I can keep discipline, but it's not because I don't get that masculine kick out of it. It's the creation, the variations, the exchange with people. That's what gives me a high. So that was a bit of a long explanation, but I hope you can use it. Um, if it's not going to be about sexuality, can you tell us how you can use the feminine as a creative force? Yes, the feminine as a creative force. You could say that when you're in the feminine, that's the potential. If you're only masculine and don't have access to the feminine in yourself, then you'll have someone who is insanely good at taking ideas from others, who is then told what to do with those ideas, and then they can do it, and then they're told, well, you have to pack it into this structure. You have to book this, you have to do that. So there's not necessarily anything wrong with that. Just say that if they are purely structural, nothing new will be created. So the feminine aspect is actually that you can feel that there is an opportunity to create something new. So all ideas, all ideas, actually stem from that, from the feminine. You can see that there is potential, and it's also about using your intuition. You can feel that something is happening. You can feel that there is something new. Sometimes you can also feel like what you're in, whether it's a job or the way I do my work or in other ways, it's dying. Because you start to get, you start to get bored. It's starting to, you're like, you're getting agitated. It's not working for you anymore. So that period when something is dying before something new comes along can be frustrating. So the way to use the feminine creative power, that's actually the inspiration. The ideas, being able to sense a potential. There are some opportunities to create something here. And it shows up as in you know, shapes and colors. A bit like I consider, you could have a patio there. Then you could have some roses up here, and then you could have something, you know, a lot of things emerge, you see it unfolding before you. So it's actually having the vision. Um, and you can also see that there are plenty of men who operate in the feminine. Well, because lots of men have visions and brands. So it's not limited to gender in that way. So it's actually taking that and also actually sometimes allowing yourself to be that, when you get ideas, when you have ideas like that, like not just saying, well, but we could use this logo, versus this logo. It's so very, it's very static. When you're in that realm where it's like ideas, it's new potential, we're going to create something new, or we're imagining something, you're using your imagination, it's often a full-body experience. You can almost taste what that breakfast is going to taste like. You can almost taste it. You can smell what the new paint will smell like. You can almost imagine the colors that will emerge. So what you see is not just in your brain. It simply affects your nervous system as well. So when you're in a place where you're using creative power, the feminine, you're really using many senses at the same time. Um and you can actually help create sometimes when I work with women who want to how they get stuck in their life rather than going in and doing like you know coaching, you know planning you know, you have to look at it and then you have to do it. Sometimes we do that, but other times we actually say, okay, try to go into your body. What is it when you feel your life that you'll have in a year, where is it that you miss? So what is it or what are you missing? What is it that you definitely don't want? But I don't want any more stress. I don't want any more stress. What is the antidote to unbound stress? It's peace. It's calmness. Try to go in and feel that peace. Try to go in and feel the state that you want to create or that state. That is, you actually want to live from a different state that the outside world, your home, your family life builds up around you. So you could say there is another way to do it. It's saying I come from the state first. Label it as the feminine, and then I build structure around it in order to create a sense of calm when, in order to create calm, I have to live a little cheaper, or I have to create structure. But it's actually a basic state, it's also feminine creative power. It's actually creating a life based on what kind of place you want to live from, where you can feel it in your whole body, in your whole heart. You can feel the longing, it tears and rips at you to live or to live in a way where you live from a different place. And then comes the structure. Whereas if you work the other way around, you just build some structure. Then you think if I just get another house, it will be better. If I get another man, it will be better. If I get another cat, it will be better. But if the basic condition is still that it's still tearing and ripping in here, then we're just moving some pieces around out here that don't really mean anything. But then the masculine, the feminine cutting power is to be felt, completely felt in body, mind and spirit. Body mind and spirit. How is this future life going to be? How the hell am I going to, how am I going to, where am I going to live from? What does that life feel like? And then you use masculine creative power to build it, to get there. What does it take financially? What, where the hell are you going to live? What, what does it take from people? What, what does it take? Then you start doing masculine planning to get there. So I hope that's answered. Can being too much into the feminine masculine be a contributing factor to anxiety and depression? And if so, will you be able to use it to train mods to let go? Yes, I would actually go so slowly to say that. We know that when we look at clinical studies, we can see that statistically speaking, if you're embodied in a female body, you're more at risk of developing anxiety. We simply seem to be more anxious. Um, and it seems to have something to do with possibly mirroring other people's emotions for longer and the way we oxycin. So we think a lot about the relationship uh and that and the emotional state. Plus when we become a mom, if we have children. Our resting point is more amygdala, where men are more in the brain, the deeper brain stem. And I don't think it's hardwired in as a man woman necessarily. I don't think it is. I think it's something that developed over an evolution in relation to our survival as a gender, I think. So I think there are defense survival mechanisms in it. Um, while also recognizing that there are differences between women and men. It's just that some of the differences we've said have previously been stereotypical. And we haven't looked at the fact that there are a lot of behavioral differences in the pig gender and the male gender as well. And then there is the bridge brain. So you could say where the genders also change over, there are other forms of sexuality that we haven't really focused on, so yes, you could say and yet it's as if I think you should see it more as it emerges a little differently. What I've noticed in some of the men I help is that if they have a very locked-in structure, it can actually sometimes be difficult to assess that a man has a very easy tendency to anxiety. It's also interesting when we look at men being assessed. Statistically, men have more addiction challenges than they have anxiety challenges. But when the addiction is treated, the anxiety pops up. They often have an extra layer before they realize that there is something they are afraid of. So I'm actually thinking, could it be, could it be a product of women having a female body with a female hormone system, while at the same time, culturally, we've been pushed into and interpreted as, well, you're not worth anything. For example, women couldn't go to university and things like that. For a long time, women were actually robbed of the opportunity to train to actually exercise masculine qualities, masculine skills. We weren't allowed to take, we weren't allowed to vote, we weren't allowed to take politics, we weren't allowed to do anything. That's because it was seen as something we couldn't do. Fortunately, that has changed. But we don't have to go far back in history. In some countries it's still like that. So it's almost as if only men are allowed to have anything to do with the masculine. Uh, and vice versa, it's only, well, they're just putting it bluntly. Only women have anything to do with the feminine. That kind of thing. Men weren't supposed to feel emotions and stuff like that. That's the way it was, well, it's a roundabout way of putting it, but nevertheless, that's how it actually was. It was very divided in that way. And it's only now that we're beginning to understand that it's all nonsense. Well, that's the thing, it's complete nonsense. If you look at it right now, if you look at Denmark and educational institutions, I'm more worried about young boys right now. Also for my own son and stuff like that. Because boys and men are dropping out of education, they can't hold on to anything. Women are very much keeping structure and getting educated and everything else. What I start to notice with women is that I see them, I see them start to shut down. I see them losing the desire to live. I see them losing the desire to live. I see them sometimes also become very anxious. Be very worried. You know, mind clutter. Uh, which is also what can happen if you are very masculine in a female body. If you've been very masculine, i.e. had to take a stand, act, act, act, act without being overly baptized in the feminine. So what I often see happening with us women is that we feel like we feel like we're the main people who can't feel our bodies, and we have a huge amount of worrying thoughts and we get, you know, we get a lot of thoughts and have trouble sleeping, which then eats itself in the throat, that the body starts to get exhausted, that we start to feel burned out. So there can be many reasons for that. So just saying only masculine, feminine is of course too simple, but I think we're on to something here. I think that we sometimes feel forced, pressured to be primarily in some capacity and we don't quite get the balancing act right. Yes, I think I actually have a very big finger in the game, if I have to shorten it down and make it all a bit simple, even though it's by no means simple. That's for sure. And what I see when I help men who haven't been hit by life in a way where they simply have to start feeling what the hell is going on and start feeling their feelings. It's actually that they get some of the things that a lot of women struggle with. They start to feel that they have an enormous amount of resistance to it. They start to feel like I'm such a wimp. I'm not saying women are wimps here, but in a male interpretation it can be that I feel a lot of you know I watch a movie I start crying. I can't take it. I can't stand it. The thing about my feelings changing and stuff like that. Phew. Because they don't really have a story to lean into them. They don't have a lot of genetic memory for being a male body and experiencing that. So you could say that there have always been some men who have been very much in contact with the feminine. But as a man through time, it has also been difficult. It's been because, again, it's been so limited in terms of what we've been allowed to express as humans and within a specific gender as well. So I think there's a lot you can play with here in terms of having an understanding of some of the different things that do. And what you can say when you're caught up in such a myriad of thoughts and worries about the future, it's actually about switching modes. It's actually about turning off your head and getting into your body. And when you get into your body and just be and let a feeling roll through you, then you're feminine. So it's a feminine practice. So in the way that we start using and switching between the different ones in terms of using it masculine to make sure, well, right now I have unpaid bills, or some landlord is after me, or you know, there's something that's pushing me and making me scared, I take care of it. I make a plan to take care of it, I get some help from a lawyer, I take care of it, and then I land. Or that we have all sorts of worries that have no basis in reality because we have some trauma that our body is trying to tell us, so we shouldn't try to get some lawyer to go after a landlord who is not a believer in speed. Because you know, it's about figuring out why it is that I feel pressured? So it's having to figure out is it a reality is someone had that is dangerous and autogenic or there's a controversy or am I interpreting the world and seeing something that's not there because my body is reacting with a lot of memories of something that has been dangerous that I actually have to go in with a feminine practice and release and process because we see the world through the lens that our body is in. So I think it can all be traced back to this dance, which may sound very simple, but when we start moving into that island it becomes more and more complex. There are so many variants in it. I think there is a tendency in relationships for the woman to take on the masculine values. How do you give back the tasks that you yes and this is fucking weird. I think it's simply an old remnant from many, many years that women have been forced to only have value in the household and have been reduced to only being a mother and spouse and stuff like that. Because that's not how it is in our day-to-day consciousness, it's not what I grew up with. I didn't grow up with the idea that I should just stay home with the meat pots. But it wasn't that long ago that that's how it was. Well, it wasn't that long ago. So it's in us. So what I often see happening when women have children is that we're standing around like we're about to throw up and I'm furious at feeling that we're taking on too much responsibility at the same time as it's a responsibility we can hardly let go of. It's as if we are so we fall into some ways of being where we quickly get straight and there are just some pants to be sewn and there are just so regardless of whether you think that cooking and taking care of the household is interesting I don't, for example, but I can see myself I took a damn overreaction in relation to my ex-husband and I have to and and my my current husband and so you have to be fucking quick if you don't just because you've just automatically acted and you've just taken care of everything and it's just as if I take it for granted that it's something I have to take care of so I think it's so ingrained in you epigenetically um and what is actually the art here is just by understanding the Danish It is, that if you go in and take, again understanding that in every interaction you have with someone else, there is someone who takes control, and then there is someone who surrenders to be in control. So that is, if a man comes and says, what are we having for dinner? Because he expects you to fix it. So, you know, sometimes you think you should hit him and first, what the hell. And it may well be that you just consciously go into the feminine pole, because if you're in the feminine, then you'll dynamically push him into the masculine. If you take the masculine, then you will push him into the feminine. That's simply how the shit works. So it works whether we like it or not. So like the dynamic works. So if you come and you know and give him a little cuddle and say like: “Hey honey, what do you want to make for dinner tonight?” he won't take it. Because what happens is that you take on too much responsibility, and then you start barking at him. You find it annoying as hell that he doesn't get off his ass, and then he feels attacked. And when you're attacked, you know, you back down, so you know, it's a dynamic we can't really talk our way out of. So it's actually about using again to use this like that. Okay, okay, okay. And it may also be that sometimes you're just a movie, well instead of getting up and cleaning up playtime, so you know for some women it can be difficult. I know what it's like with the mess and the flow and you can't leave things lying around. But it can be an exercise to realize that no, right now I feel like sitting over here on the couch with a glass of wine and just enjoying. And he might also think it's wonderful that you just sit and relax and you smile and laugh and relax and you know then he starts cleaning up. It may also be that he doesn't do that sometimes because it may well be that his threshold in relation to the fact that it's not cleaned up is It doesn't bother him. He doesn't see it. So sometimes an agreement needs to be made about, okay, I'll take masculine control of these things. Can't you take masculine control of these things? That's what I've done with my own husband. It's kind of like, okay, but I don't mind if you want to do the cooking most of the time, then I'll, you know, I'll get up and put breakfast on. I'll do the dishes, you know. So you find out, because there are some things and stuff like that, if he bothers to take care of things like winter tires and stuff like that, you know, which I think sucks. So we've taken, we've taken a bit of a uh, we've taken a bit of a sludge and brought some humor into it. Because it's not like I always have to be feminine at home and he always has to be masculine. Yes, sexually, because that works best. And I have to have room to be feminine. And he can see that the more feminine I am, the better off I am. So he wants to give me some structure so that I can just goof around. Sometimes I just need to walk and fool around. But that doesn't mean that he has to talk structure. Because I also thrive on explaining things, right? And I'm crazy good at it, you know. So it's actually more about communicating it sometimes. So we've got a language where I come home, and I keep a lot of structure. So what would I give if he just asks what we're going to eat, I would give them to cry, that is, when you can feel that if I get another question I have to deal with, I break down and then I cry. Then it's your body telling you that you've simply been holding on to so much structure all day. And he can see it in me. He's, I'm just like, well honey, would you mind, would you mind, would you mind almost taking my clothes off and putting me to bed, then making me some food, you know. And then because he understands this, he takes over. So in that way, we use communication to take it as more of a dance. In relation to I can also just write to I simply have my brain is burning structure together and something like that you can get us through the rest of the day and then he can say yes of course or not because he comes back faster. He can also burn out after shedding. He can also become vulnerable and say right now I just really need it because I'm so vulnerable. And it's taken a long time for him because it's not a place he's been used to. He's been scared shitless that he'll be shut out or that a woman can't handle a man from a vulnerable place. Um, so the fact that he gets love where I say hey, fine, go to bed, you know, see something, then I go shopping and then I make dinner, but he quickly comes back again. It's like he needs to go down and recharge in the feminine but it's not his primary place so he knows that but the more he's allowed to be out there he feels done wrong because it's unexpected for him to be a feminine because he hasn't learned it um so the faster he comes back again. So it seems to be I don't know with guarantees because it's hard to say what is natural here because we are so how we have been influenced by it seems to be that a little dependent on maybe your body what you have and how you function. Some people are also more masculine mentally and so on, but they thrive a lot on the emotional side, i.e. feminine, right? So there are also different variants of that. It seems to be that if you are incarnated in a female body, it's really really important for your health that you balance the feminine. It's also important for you as a man, of course, to access the feminine. But it also seems to be quite important if you're a male body that you can keep some structure, that you actually get this reward of being able to act. It doesn't mean that it's delicious if women act. Enjoy it for god's sake. So there's all sorts of variations, there's not just rules of thumb. Uh, because we're basically trying to figure out what the hell we look like as a human being, also as a gender, when we learn this dance between Poland and within ourselves. Well, we don't have the result yet. So that's what I think is so exciting. So it's the fact that it actually breaks all stereotypes in relation to s Wow. I wonder what the hell it looks like to be a human being here on earth. White is going through. There was one ov, there's a couple. No, there are more. No, it's good that they have many questions, but time has passed, but I'll answer them. I'll answer. There are three or four questions left, so I go through them all to make sure I don't skip any. And then there are two or three questions left, which I'll make sure to answer in writing so that you all get answers. I want to say thank you for now, and uh, it was great to meet you, and thank you for this year if you've been before. And have a wonderful Christmas and a happy New Year. And I'll see you in the new year, where I have new things on the wallpaper. So I don't actually know if this format will return. What I find is new. That's how it is. Um, but it was great. Thank you for 22, and may you get through the last part of this year in one piece, which I don't know how you've been. I think 22 has been such a struggle energetically. It's been a wild year. It's been a wild year. I can see if those people have helped it. It's like we've been pushed to make decisions about relationships in ways that we haven't done in a long time. So uh so congratulations to all of us for surviving this wild ride for so long. So I just wish you the most beautiful dance in yourselves and with your partner and with your loved ones. And then I'll see you.