Psychological Violence and Complex PTSD
Understanding PTSD: Single Incident Trauma
When we talk about PTSD, that is post-traumatic stress disorder, it is important to understand that it can take many different forms. If you have PTSD, it may be because you have experienced a very violent incident, such as a veteran who comes home from war. Previously, we called it shell shock. What happens is that the person can be triggered by something like New Year's fireworks. Even though the person knows that it is not dangerous, the body reacts violently - with anxiety, aggression, or by shutting down completely. The body remembers the overwhelming situation from the war, even though the head knows that the fireworks do not pose any real danger. Similarly, people who have been in a serious traffic accident or experienced a rape can get PTSD, where the body reacts violently to things that are reminiscent of the incident. PTSD is often linked to a specific experience or theme that triggers flashbacks and reactions.
Complex PTSD: A Cluster of Traumatic Events
Complex PTSD is another matter. Here, it is not a single incident, but rather a cluster of different incidents or experiences that have taken place over a longer period of time. For example, you may have grown up in an emotionally abusive home. Maybe you had a narcissistic parent, or a parent who was too divided or weak to intervene when something was not right. So, you end up covering up their behavior and suppressing your own needs.
The Subtle Nature of Psychological Violence
Psychological violence can be extremely difficult to spot because it is not as tangible as physical violence. For example, if you have been beaten, you have a black eye that everyone can see, and it is easier to understand the pain. But psychological violence is more subtle. It may be that you have been wronged, degraded, or that your needs have been neglected. Your parents' performance requirements may have made you feel inadequate if you could not live up to their standards. You were seen as an extension of their own wishes and not as who you really were.
The Long-Term Effects of Emotional Abuse
This form of psychological violence slowly breaks you down. It can be control over your behavior, that you are shamed, mocked, or ridiculed for having other needs or desires than those your parents have expected of you. If you have experienced something like this in your upbringing, you can very easily end up in a relationship where the same dynamics arise. You may unconsciously seek out what feels familiar, even if it is not good for you. The familiar, what you have been used to, feels safe, even if it is harmful.
The Accumulation of Multiple Traumas
Complex PTSD can also occur if you have experienced several stressful events at the same time. It may be that you have experienced psychological violence in childhood, later a violent relationship, perhaps a traffic accident, a difficult pregnancy, or a grief such as losing a child. These experiences can sit deep in your system, and you can feel violently overwhelmed by triggers without fully understanding why. You may think: "I have not been beaten or raped, so why do I feel so bad?"
Understanding Complex Trauma: It's Not Your Fault
It is important to understand that complex PTSD can occur without a single violent incident such as rape or violence. It is an accumulation of many stresses that overwhelm your system and create a feeling of constant alert. If you have grown up with psychological violence, there is a high probability that you will seek relationships that repeat these patterns. But it is not your fault. It just requires you to take responsibility for stepping out of the old patterns and getting your nervous system used to receiving kindness and love.
Learn more about the latest research on Complex PTSD treatment in 'The effectiveness of trauma-focused psychotherapy for complex post-traumatic stress disorder' published in the National Library of Medicine1. Dive deeper into our perspective on Complex PTSD, energy work and the development of consciousness in Episode 37 of the Magdalene Effect podcast, where we explore how Complex PTSD symptoms can overlap with other conditions and impact women's relational patterns.
