Polarity and Attraction in Relationships
The masculine and feminine seek each other out and create a magnetic attraction. This attraction is rooted in sexuality, where the feminine is typically attracted to the masculine pole and vice versa. Polarity is a fundamental force that can be seen as a tension or friction between opposites that seek each other out. In the meeting between the poles is the possibility of ecstasy as well as pain.
Fundamentally, polarity is about the attraction that arises between masculine and feminine poles, and it requires two parties of opposite polarization for attraction to occur where something happens. We know that there are also a number of other factors at play in attraction, but typically one party will prefer to take while the other party prefers to be taken. So there is a giving and receiving pole, an inviting and seeking pole. There are also examples of relationships where the partners enjoy switching poles sexually.
Regardless of this, we see the poles as a dynamic force that creates spark and excitement in the relationship and makes the relationship juicy in bed. If the poles are confused, a "fight" can arise in bed about who should take whom, or the sex life can come to a standstill because neither party is seeking and taking the initiative. If your poles do not match, this will eventually become a problem that can be difficult to solve. We can cultivate the opposite pole and work to integrate it into everyday life consciously, but sexually we rarely choose - here the body itself chooses what it enjoys and feels desire for.
Sexual Polarity
Plus and Minus: Polarity can be seen as a "plus and minus" that is required to create energy. In the same way as in a battery, where the electric current arises from the difference between the poles, sexual energy arises from the difference between masculine and feminine.
Attraction and Repulsion: We see the magnetic attraction between masculine and feminine as a "cosmic attraction" that can be both ecstatic and dangerous. The early phase of a relationship is often characterized by intense attraction, but also by a fragility to open up and be honest, where it can quickly change to repulsion if the balance is disturbed or fantasies are not met.
Need for Difference: To maintain sexual attraction, it is important to maintain the difference between the poles. An excessive focus on equality, which is interpreted as "we must be the same," can lead to the polarity being diluted and the spark disappearing. Everyone is equal, understood as everyone being equally worthy, but everyone is far from the same.
Knowing Your Primary Pole: It is important to become aware of which pole you primarily identify with sexually, as this can help you understand your needs and desires in a relationship, as well as your partner's.
Polarity in Everyday Life
Friction that Creates Energy: Polarity is not limited to sexuality but also exists in our everyday lives and in the workplace. The friction between masculine and feminine energy can create creativity, productivity, and growth if handled constructively, but it can also create major problems, destruction, control, and even rape if managed irresponsibly.
Conflict and Dominance: Unbalanced polarity can lead to conflict and dominance struggles, where one pole tries to take over the other pole. This can be expressed as aggression, control, and power struggles when the poles are handled unconsciously in a relationship.
Awareness and Choice: To navigate polarity, it is important to develop awareness of your own and your partner's primary pole in bed. It is about learning to switch between the poles, setting boundaries, and taking responsibility for your part of the dynamic, to elevate the dance to something ecstatic that meets in love.
We offer a comprehensive, but not exhaustive, perspective on polarity. We focus primarily on the heterosexual dynamic, and it is important to remember that there may be other ways to experience and work with polarity and that polarity as such does not necessarily follow gender.
