Navigating the Darkness: When A Man Shuts Down

If a man is fully ready to enter the pain and takes full responsibility for the journey himself, she can be with him in deep love for him, his process, and be a witness to the darkness that unfolds. Because she knows that his capacity for love has not yet been reached.

- Sune Sloth

If a man does not have the strength to stand in his inner pain and feel his own barriers, but instead pulls away from feeling the pain and does not dare to go into what is now pressing, then he is not ready to open up for either her or anything greater. If he does not have a strategy, he is lost and must remain closed to take care of himself. Here the woman can be hopelessly naive and stay on for far too long in deep longing for him to open up. Because she cannot bear that it does not succeed with the man she has chosen, she clings to a slim hope, which over time becomes smaller and smaller, as her body shuts down more and more for him and the desire for sex disappears.

Her Powerfull Support

But if he is ready to go into the pain and she can see that he takes full responsibility for the journey himself, then she can conversely be supportive and loving. Can she be with him without condemnation, in deep love for him and his process, and witness the darkness that unfolds, because she sees his potential, and because she loves him deeply from the heart. Because she knows that his capacity for loving has not yet been reached. Here she meets the man's darkness, and it can be frightening to witness and can require everything she has for not to run screaming away. Women often wonder why men don't just "open up" in their hearts when they feel deep love for him. But it is a bigger challenge for him than he himself expects, filled with many layers of inner barriers.

His Journey

The man must himself recognize all his limitations and consciously and gradually choose to open up for each of them, and let the light, higher consciousness or inner wisdom penetrate through. It is only when something conscious presses on that he really feels the pain in himself and he will try to avoid it. Therefore, her love can cause pain in him, which he tries to avoid. It is not her fault or her responsibility, it is merely a result of man's inherent process and his evolutionary journey.

What is Deciding Whether He Will Transform?

When he finally allows himself to feel his barriers, a deep pain wells up because he recognizes that he has closed himself about himself. If he avoids the pain here, he is not ready to open himself to her. It is his will and capacity to stand in the pain long enough that determines whether he moves on.

If a man is truly ready to face his inner pain and take full ownership of his journey, she can stand by him with unwavering love, witnessing his process and the darkness that unfolds. She knows his capacity for love is still growing.